The Duke of Depression

Depresion and Series of Setbacks Force Royal Rascal to Radical Remedy

Prince Harry
The 1,000 Yard Stare…like a grunt sometimes gets after going through too much shit, being in the bush too long, part of his PTSD…like he sees…beyond.

You think you’ve had a bad week? A bad month? You probably haven’t been depressed enough, or henpecked and pushed to the point of accepting voluntary chemical castration, in order to please your demanding wife.

With our unique contacts all around the world, including within the Royal Family of England, we get a lot of tips about really tragic stories. It’s safe to say, you don’t know suffering until you understand the fall of Prince Harry, or as we here at The Philthy Times like to refer to him, “The Duke of Dumbass!”

The Royals
Even the good old days were pretty miserable, always having to kiss Willy’s ass, it was tough.

Things have broken bad for Prince Harry, since the embarrassing public “exit” from the British Monarchy, or at least an exit from his “Royal Duties” you may say. First, Harry was duped by a prank calling comedian who had someone posing as Gretta Thurnburgh, and Harry believed them and spilled the beans on a bunch of embarrassing stuff.

Then came the embarrasment of President Trump publicly humiliating him by tweeting that the US would not pay for security for Harry and Meghan. Sure, they had enough money to cover security, but it’s damn expensive, and after that and the 25,000 square foot mansion in Beverlly Hills, they sort of had to put Harry’s plan of dedicating himself to “philanthropy” on hold; they didn’t have unlimited resources anymore, so any kind of budget, even one that allows for 25,000 square foot Beverly Hills mansions and round the clock Secret Service grade private security, was a new experience, so they pretty much need to make some money–not fun for Harry.

Harry probably wasn’t expecting to be hailed in America like Charles Lindbergh with a ticker tape parade. But on the other hand, like many of the rest of us, he didn’t really seem to correctly foresee much of anything when he emancipated himself from his grandma, The Queen of England, and left home to move to California, no doubt with some coaxing from his new bride. 

Harry had been embarrassed badly, but the first sign of real trouble was when he seemed to be caught off guard by not being allowed to get paid to dress up like a Nutcracker–he had lost his British Military Rank and Privilege. In the prank call Harry had said that he hadn’t “really” lost his titles, that it was just a formality. Reality was hard for Harry to face.

Then hard on the heels of that, came Meghan getting even more demanding, if that was possible! Since she was adapting well, having been an actress in Hollywood long before meeting Harry, and she was busy and thriving, but bitchy with Harry our insider says “Meghan really started hounding him”. Then one day Harry was fondly remembering some hunts he used to go on with his family, and how he might go hunting again to cheer himself up, but Meghan wouldn’t have any of it–she got furious and ordered him to sell his guns.

That was probably the start of the real downfall, a downward spiral of depression from which The Prince never recovered.”

Having to give up his guns hurt Harry more than he realized.

While Meghan loves Hollywood, and is busy having lunches and meetings with Producers and other friends and executives, Hollywood didn’t seem to have anything that interests or works for The Depressed Duke.

It was starting to get embarrassing, and pressure was mounting on Harry to get a job–until the Coronavirus hit–and at least that gave Harry an excuse to stay in luxurious exile within the huge 25000 square foot Beverly Hills mansion, owned by Tyler Perry and rented by Harry.

But soon the luxurious stay at home was ruined, as both Harry and Meghan started being hounded by helicopters and drones, and they can’t set foot outside without being videotaped by paparazzi. That’s made Meghan so bitchy, it’s unbearable.

Meghan ordered Harry to make the drones go away. He was powerless. Harry even called his grandma and cried, and begged her to do something, but The Queen just said “I told you so.” (U.S. Air Force photo by Alejandro Peña)

After all that, Meghan helped Harry decide to take forcefull action, and the option of chemical castration was agreed upon. One of Meghan’s servants issued a written statement;

“When Meghan met Harry, he was still a bit conservative, owing to his background and upbringing. Meghan fell in love with him anyway. As his wife and life partner, Meghan has an obligation to help Harry learn and grow and become a better, more progressive person. She has therefor decided, that while she is persuing her career as a super-hero in future Disney blockbuster movies, Harry will stay at home and supervise the nannies who care for thier son, Archie, and while doing that he will also asume the mantle of support for the imprtant cuases they are dediated to, global warming, the Coronavirus shutdown, convincing others to stay home and to wear masks at all times, and of course the MeToo movement. As a tangible sign of support for all that, Harry will undergoe chemical castration. It’s for his own good, it will improve his mood and his health and even increase his life expectancy!”

The chemical cure
Harry knows what he must do to keep Meghan happy, and fit in with her Hollywood friends.

Harry’s people did not issue a statemnt. Harry himself cannot make eye contact with anyone anymore.

Harry is depressed and miserable, in self imposed exile, estranged from his family, hooked up with a controlling partner, forced to change his very identity and what he believes in, to fit in with people he does not like or understand, unemployed, spied upon constantly, which he hates but has reluctantly accepted, is not really political but must hate Trump anyway, to conform.

In short, Prince Harry is now perfectly qualified as a US citizen and resident of California!

He doesn’t realize it, but he has assimilated well, and rumors are that after the castration, Meghan will set him up as a nationwide motivational speaker and success coach, and allow him to move forward with his philanthropy!

Welcome, Harry! America just keeps getting better and better!

Spread the Philthiness

By Walter Kurtz

The horror! I got tired of the Deep State continuously sending assassins to kill me. So I faked my own death, during a documentary film. Later I had the film edited to appear as a work of fiction. Since then I've been roaming the globe, killing judiciously, and lavising kindness and affection on the weak and needy. I've now decided to start publishing the truth for my good friend El Capitaz, on the website The Philthy Times. The horror of these philthy times must be documented.

26 thoughts on “Prince Harry Agrees to Chemical Castration”
  1. all the time i used to read smaller posts which as well
    clear their motive, and that is also happening with this piece of writing which
    I am reading now.

  2. Attractive section of content. I just stumbled upon your blog and in accession capital to assert that I get in fact enjoyed
    account your blog posts. Any way I’ll be subscribing to your augment and even I achievement you access consistently fast.
    adreamoftrains best web hosting 2020

  3. Pretty section of content. I just stumbled upon your blog and in accession capital to assert that I get actually enjoyed account your blog posts.
    Anyway I will be subscribing to your feeds and even I achievement you access consistently fast.

  4. Hmm it seems like your blog ate my first comment (it was extremely long) so I guess I’ll just sum it up what I submitted and say,
    I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog. I as well am an aspiring blog blogger but I’m still new to the whole thing.
    Do you have any recommendations for beginner blog writers?
    I’d genuinely appreciate it.

  5. Exceptional post however , I was wanting to know if you could write a
    litte more on this subject? I’d be very thankful if you
    could elaborate a little bit further. Many thanks!

  6. Appreciating the commitment you put into your website and in depth information you provide.
    It’s good to come across a blog every once in a while that isn’t the same
    unwanted rehashed material. Fantastic read!
    I’ve saved your site and I’m adding your RSS feeds to my Google account.

  7. I think that everything posted was very logical. However, what about this?
    what if you wrote a catchier post title? I mean,
    I don’t wish to tell you how to run your blog, however what if
    you added something that makes people want more?
    I mean Prince Harry Agrees to Chemical Castration • The Philthy
    Times is a little boring. You might peek at Yahoo’s home page and watch how they create article headlines to grab people interested.
    You might try adding a video or a pic or two to get people interested about what you’ve written. Just my opinion,
    it could make your blog a little bit more interesting.

  8. Wonderful blog! I found it while searching on Yahoo News.
    Do you have any tips on how to get listed in Yahoo News?

    I’ve been trying for a while but I never seem to
    get there! Thanks cheap flights y2yxvvfw

  9. Just desire to say your article is as astonishing.
    The clarity in your post is just excellent and i can assume you’re
    an expert on this subject. Well with your permission let me to grab your feed to keep updated with forthcoming
    post. Thanks a million and please keep up the rewarding work.

  10. Hello, Neat post. There’s an issue with your website in internet explorer,
    would test this? IE nonetheless is the marketplace
    leader and a huge component of other folks will omit your magnificent writing due to this problem.

  11. Hi there! I know this is kind of off topic but I was wondering if you knew where I could locate
    a captcha plugin for my comment form? I’m using
    the same blog platform as yours and I’m having
    difficulty finding one? Thanks a lot!

  12. Hey there! I could have sworn I’ve been to this blog before but after checking through some
    of the post I realized it’s new to me. Anyhow, I’m definitely glad I found it and I’ll be book-marking and checking back

  13. I’m not sure why but this web site is loading very slow for me.
    Is anyone else having this issue or is it a issue on my
    end? I’ll check back later on and see if the problem still exists.

  14. I do agree with all of the ideas you’ve presented in your post.

    They’re very convincing and will definitely work. Nonetheless, the posts are very brief for beginners.
    Could you please lengthen them a bit from subsequent time?
    Thank you for the post.

  15. I do not even know how I finished up right here, however I assumed this submit was great.
    I don’t recognise who you are however definitely you’re going to a well-known blogger in case you are not already.


  16. hey there and thank you for your info – I have definitely
    picked up something new from right here. I did
    however expertise several technical points using this web site, as I
    experienced to reload the site a lot of times previous to I
    could get it to load correctly. I had been wondering if your web host is
    OK? Not that I am complaining, but slow loading
    instances times will sometimes affect your placement
    in google and could damage your high quality score if ads and marketing with Adwords.
    Anyway I am adding this RSS to my email and can look out for much more of
    your respective intriguing content. Ensure that you update this again very soon.

  17. obviously like your website but you need to take a look at the spelling on quite a few of your posts. Many of them are rife with spelling issues and I in finding it very troublesome to inform the truth on the other hand I will certainly come back again.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *