Emergency-Face-Book Online-Mobile-Ballot Stations
Undaunted by almost being stripped of his authority by the County Governing Board, back in 2018, or by the State Attorney General issuing a restraining order a few weeks ago, to prevent him from a mass-mailing of ballots to Democrats who didn’t request them, County Recorder Fontes has announced a new plan to harvest votes for the November Election: ”EF-BOMBS”, Emergency Face Book Online Mobil Ballot Stations”
“This Covid-19 emergency is beyond anything we’ve ever encountered,” Fontes solemnly announced to the press.
“I have a responsibility to help people vote, but also keep the public safe! We are therefore setting up numerous pages on Facebook, to serve as EF-BOMBS. Our EF-BOMBS will ensure that no citizen is denied their right to vote by some racist Republican. We will work with the FPAT, Facebook Political Action Team, to ensure there are as many EF-BOMBS created, as many pages as we need, to get the votes. As an added safety measure, anyone who can’t vote on Facebook, just send an email to my personal G-mail account, with “Emergency Vote” in the heading, and I’ll make sure your wishes for a straight Democratic party ballot are honored.”
As usual, reaction to the “decisive actions” taken by the controversial County Recorder, known for his profanity-laced tirades against Republicans and Trump supporters, whom he denounces as racist xenophobes, was mixed along partisan party lines.
Democrats cheered, with one who requested to remain anonymous, because he was in the country illegally, saying “Hell yeah! If I wanna vote against Trump on Facebook, that’s my right!”
Republicans were muted, perhaps caught off guard by the audacity of the Fontes plan, or wary of being branded a racist who opposes people’s right to vote.
One source inside the AZ GOP pledged to fight, at least against the email portion of the scheme. “I don’t know about trying to stop Facebook from collecting votes, they’re pretty much unstoppable with the whole deep-state intelligence community behind them.” She said. “We’d be better off trying to get our own EF BOMBS. But that emergency back-up voting, by sending Fontes an email, that won’t stand up! The Attorney General can get another restraining order against Fontes to at least stop that!”